“I’m not lost, just wandering ’round my hometown”

22 Sep

Familiar places are eerie when you know you’ll be leaving them behind.

Visiting DePauw this weekend, I was inundated by the constant replaying of moments from the span of my four years at the university.  Here’s where I slipped on some ice one frosty morning when I had decided to brave the snow in heels.  Sitting in the snowbanks, I had laughed at myself in a way that broke from the restrained snicker everyone has perfected for social situations.

It was in the same intersection of streets that I had taken the call saying my medical evaluations ruled out the possibility of serving with the Peace Corps in Africa.

Hometown and college town alike, I can’t seem to see the town through the streets these days.  Every future PCV must have a personalized way of dealing with the changes that are going to overturn the state of our current lives.  Mine seems to resemble mourning.  I’m not mourning the pets that will be gone when I return, or the friends that will be an ocean away, though both cast a shade on the excitement of these expectant days.  I can’t help but mourn myself.  Never having associated myself with being “American,” and all the freedom preaching and abusing that implies, I recognize the very real risk I am running of never returning to the states.  I feel blessed not only for the chance to experience something only roughly 7,500 individuals are granted each year, but for the chance to be allowed to fundamentally change.  I am aware of people simultaneously handing me a “pass” to change, while taking a mental snapshot to which they can later compare me.  No one would tell a future PCV their experience isn’t going to be life changing, but when it comes to qualifying the actual changes that are going to take place in an individual, I doubt many people realize what it means.

Upon my return, I will be faced with figuring out what to do when I won’t fit in the same Linnea shaped space I did before.  Perhaps that is what leads me to mourn, the reality that though this same comfortable, safe spot will be there for me when I return, I won’t be able to take it back even if I wanted to.

That being said, I am almost overflowing with joy and expectation for the next few days. The complexity of emotions I deal with on a daily basis right now make this process all the sweeter.  It’s a beautiful tugging feeling to be drawn to cry over the sorrow of parting with friends and the thankfulness of being given a rare opportunity.  I want you to know I write these posts with a smile on my face.  Emotions are meant to be felt in full, and I have done nothing less than that for the past week.

So, I encourage all of you to write to me with a smile on your face!

——–much Awaited Mailing Information:

My mailing address during PST is as follows;

U.S. Peace Corps/Ukraine
PCV Linnea Zielinski
P.O. Box 204
Kyiv, Ukraine


U.S. Peace Corps/Ukraine
PCV Linnea Zielinski
111A Saksahanskogo Street
Kyiv, Ukraine

Around mid-December, this address will be changing as I move out to the village in which I will be serving for the remaining two years.  I’ll post that new address when I have it, of course.

*Important note: We have been given instructions saying that only letters will be delivered, though my Peace Corps peer advisor has mentioned that during her time in PST one volunteer was able to receive small, padded envelope packages.  If you want to try the packages (I, of course, would have no objections to this), I suggest trying only a couple small, cheap objects the first time to see if in fact they can get through.

If you want to start working on a care package for when I reach my final destination in December, I will be posting a “wish list” on the left-hand side of this blog with small things I miss or would appreciate.

Side note: Is anyone wondering where I get the song lyrics for my titles?  I’m going to start posting the song name and artist here at the bottom of posts in case you’re curious.

Music: “Hometown Glory” -ADELE (from the album, 19)


4 Responses to ““I’m not lost, just wandering ’round my hometown””

  1. Paige 24 September, 2009 at 14:40 #

    It’s your life Lin Lin! We love you!

    *lots of exclaimations!!!*

    • Paige 24 September, 2009 at 14:41 #

      I rlly dislike full keyboards

  2. Ed 7 October, 2009 at 10:45 #

    1. I miss your blogging. Get writing. :)
    2. Check this out: http://www.engadget.com/2009/10/07/dell-puts-opi-nail-polish-on-laptops-forgets-to-announce-adamo/ I still have to go check out OPI nail polish! Lately I’ve just been using clear. Boring, I know, but it works. I just like having something on my nails!

    • Sandy Zielinski 25 October, 2009 at 22:07 #

      Hi Linnea,

      Sorry we haven’t contacted you sooner! I am retired, but I am busier now than I was before retirement.
      We have 2 dogs and they keep me really busy, too. I have joined 3 women’s groups at church and I belong to one garden club and am joining another. So, I have brought it on myself!! I do not miss work, but I do miss my paycheck. Ha,ha!! I was in Hungary last year. It is very different in western Europe!!! I hope you are well and we will write and send things from your wish list!!!!!!!

      Love, Aunt Sandy and Uncle Dave

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