I haven’t written a blog entry in quite a while, and that is most likely an understatement. Journaling in general seems vapid and frivolous to me these days. Running on full speed 7-11 each day has worn me thin to the point where I don’t have independent thought outside my minute to minute schedule, let alone find the little that passes through from time to time worth anyone else’s time or energy.
The only thing I’ve had to be thankful for in some time was moment of complete silence walking back from the grocery store two days ago (a three mile round-trip). Along a major road, nonetheless, the only sound was the crunching of gravel under my shoes as I crossed one of the torn apart intersections. It lasted for perhaps 20 seconds, but it was a glimpse of a break and rest I hadn’t gotten in over two weeks. My emotional exhaustion has surpassed anything but vague, hazy notions of emotions and most of the time I feel unenthusiastic and generally sub-par.
I’ve started a journaling project at one school through which the senior students are consistently writing “letters to Linnea.” Though the amount of work I have each night has skyrocketed as a result, the project is what I’d tentatively call fulfilling and a success. Personalizing the attention I give each student through our letters back and forth has already achieved marked improvements their writing and participation. Students I never thought would say a word in class are openly sharing their lives with me through these journals and I’m thankful for that step forward even if it means more sleepless nights of grading past 3 am.
Other than that, I’m regretting my luck of being out of the country for the release of such a ground-breaking book as Safran Foer’s Tree of Codes. Most of you are well aware of my literary fixation, so I’m only going to say that this is the biggest step in melding literary art and visual art since the release of Tristram Shandy (in my humble opinion). I’m jonesing a copy and tearing my hair out over Amazon not having it.
The daily grind keeps going day in and day out, though I’m enjoying a weekend of running, watching “The Wire,” and reading Gone With the Wind. My next rest will be on International Women’s Day, a holiday I’m in full support of America finally adopting.
*Music: “Against the Wind” -Bob Seger