“night to the light, all plans are golden in your hands”

We do the best we can.

This phrase has never held any weight with my nerves, anxiety, or acid stomach before any number of interviews, deadlines, or exams.  Funny thing was, and still is, that it fails to hold water in the opinion of my common sense.  That statement, which flows so freely from the mouth of college students across the country (oh yeah, the country I’m not in any longer), ignores the simple fact that had you studied, prepared, reviewed even a minute more, your “best,” would be better than it is at this moment.

You see, the comforting thing about this statement is the relationship it has with time.  It ignores both the past and future; what could be more comforting than that?  There are consequences for neither the choices you made leading up to this moment, nor for the choices you make now.  Maybe this is what really irks me about that statement – it is a philosophical statement of the pessimistic, used by the optimists to comfort them.  The only situation in which a desire to stop the future is logical, is when you expect to do badly.

But time keeps going!  So, rather than comforting as it is meant, this statement never fails to come across as demeaning and patronizing.  If it isn’t already blindingly clear, I do not count myself among the optimists and suffice it to say, I have endured more than my fair share of encounters with attempts to calm me down with this statement.  True, this statement is possibly connotative of another’s confidence in your abilities.  In order to glean that message, however, you have to be a glass-half-full person which entirely ignores the fact that generally speaking, the breakdown of relationships with this phrase goes as follows; speakers – optimists, receivers – pessimists.  See the problem?

Before everyone finds me too bitter and jaded to continue reading my blog, I should confess this is the product of pre-Language Proficiency Interview nerves.  My interview should have started ten minutes ago, during which I need to make at least the Intermediate Mid level.  Essentially, we’re being graded for our efforts the past three months.  Sorry to all of you optimists out there, but if your best ranks at anything lower than Intermediate Mid level, your training is pretty much considered a flop.

So, here I am, going into my interview thinking – “If I had run less often, played cards with my host sister fewer nights, indulged myself in “American nights” by watching TV episodes or movies less frequently, would my best be better?”  At least I know this, my training experience would not have been richer for the changes.

Music: “Golden Skans” -Klaxons